Why I Socially Isolated Myself for 3.5 Years – and What Came Out of It
On the transformative power of being alone
At the end of 2011, I embarked on a mental voyage. I wanted to find out what I am. Part of this voyage was 3.5 years in social isolation. In the following, I talk about my experiences and insights before and during this time and what it did to me. At the end, I suggest a few exercises.
I had a “good” life. I worked as a mathematician at a university and ran my own company. I receive recognition and earned well. But after over twenty years, everything had become routine. No matter where I was on the planet, I felt like I was constantly talking to the same people about the same topics. I was deeply bored.
Building a career in science and a business had been interesting, and I had learned a lot. Now I longed for a new challenge. However, I didn’t have the courage to leave my comfort zone. Sometime later, circumstances forced me to dissolve my company and quit my job at the university.
As I was also interested in working with people, I completed various training courses on the side. The spectrum ranged from nutrition to psychological hand analysis and numerology to Ayurveda. So I started a new career as a mental coach. But after just two years, I was bored again. All clients had more or less the same problems around the four topics of health, love, money, and career. I realized all people follow more or less the same behavioral patterns.
In 2011, I heard a woman talk about her experience of exploring the question ‘What am I?’ She had given up her old life and gone to New Zealand, where she spent seven months in silence. I was inspired. From that day on, I wanted to know what I was.
The question ‘Who am I?’ is about what kind of person I am among all people. The question ‘What am I?’ is about what it means to be a human, what the full potential of a human is. More about this in my article “Why the Question ‘What am I?’ is Important and Magical."
A cheetah born in the wild must develop its full potential in order to survive. A captive-born cheetah learns that food comes from a keeper. It doesn’t need to run fast and catch prey. Therefore, it doesn’t develop its potential. We humans are born in mental captivity. When we grow up, our parents and other people are role models for being human. We copy their behavior and change one thing or another. Our parents copied from their parents. And so on. This goes back thousands of generations. Countless programs control us, some of which are tens of thousands of years old. These programs are our mental prison. That’s why we only live a small portion of our potential – just like the cheetah in the zoo. With the question ‘What am I?’ I am not only questioning myself, but humankind.
To find out what I am, I must eliminate what I am not, because what remains is what I am. I must explore why I act the way I do and why I think what I think. Then I can eliminate the behaviors and thoughts that come from programs.
I started doing this while continuing to work as a mental coach and maintaining my social relationships. After three years, my body told me I must shift into a higher gear.
My right jaw started hurting. According to the dentist, the teeth were fine, the cause could be the jaw joint. So I went to an osteopath. She recommended four treatments. After the first, the pain was gone. In the three weeks between the first and the last treatment, I had no pain. Immediately after the last treatment, the pain returned. The only reasonable explanation was that “something” was speaking to me through my body and saying, “I want to talk to you. Pain is my language.”
From then on, I observed my behavior against the backdrop of my jaw pain. Every time I behaved in a certain way, the pain got worse. When I stopped this behavior, the pain disappeared.
Shortly afterwards, I had an accident on a hike. My foot got stuck, I fell, and broke my big toe. What did this accident tell me? My foot got stuck. Where was I stuck in life? The answer was simple: I was stuck in my research. I had made no progress for months and most of my findings were just theory.
Programs that are the mental legacy of thousands of generations control all people. Through social interaction, we constantly reinforce the programs in each other. Therefore, it was impossible to free myself from these programs as long as I interacted with other people. In order to make progress, I had to isolate myself socially.
In the following months, I ended my professional activities and my partnership, said goodbye to family and friends, and sold my apartment. I moved to a community near the Austrian mountains. I abstained from media consumption and only had the most necessary contacts, eg when shopping. I focused on the question, ‘What am I?’. The most exciting time of my life had begun.
My jaw and toe had taught me that my body was guiding me on this voyage. In the months and years that followed, many inflammations developed in my body. Each one was related to one or more social programs. Once I found, analyzed, and learned to master the programs, the inflammation healed.
My self-exploration led to a Theory of Mind, which I expanded into a Theory of Everything. When I had finished these theories, I longed to present them to someone who was truly curious and would challenge me with questions. I flew to the USA and attended a conference of neuroscientists. There I found such a person. This was 3.5 years after I had left family and friends and ended my time in social isolation.
A lot has happened in these 3.5 years.
Firstly. I found out what was truthful in my life. By giving up everything (family, partner, friends, career, hobbies, etc), I made a fresh start – a reset. I trusted that what was truthful would come back. I enjoy what has come back more than ever, and I don’t miss what hasn’t come back. My life has become simpler, easier, and more fulfilling.
Secondly. I learned to master many of my programs. Cleansing my mind from being controlled by programs also brought about a cleansing of my body.
Thirdly. I developed a Theory of Mind and a Theory of Everything – and described it in my book “Consciousness – Its Nature, Purpose, and How to Use It.” I would not have been able to do this without the years of social isolation. On the one hand, I could concentrate fully on my research. On the other hand, freeing myself from many programs significantly improved my mental abilities. I have always been good at seeing patterns, but I can now see much more complex patterns. I have become a better scientist.
Fourthly. I learned that every physical condition has a mental cause. It expresses a universal order that constantly urges me to free myself from my programs, develop my full potential, and fulfill my purpose as part of the whole.
In my experience, being alone has an enormously transformative power. We are here to grow mentally and fulfill our purpose. I explain why this is the case in my article “How to Find Your Purpose in Life”
If you want to find your truth, you don’t have to isolate yourself for years, as I did. Firstly, I wanted to achieve more than free myself from my programs; I wanted to see and understand the big picture. Secondly, you can build on my insights and experiences. See my article “How to Become What You Truly Are in 7 Steps” and my book “Being Free - Get Out of the Box.”
Get started – and let your body and life circumstances guide you. Here are four exercises:
Exercise 1: How much of your life is routine? In your professional life? In your private life? Do you ever get bored? How do you deal with it? Analyze your life. Do you keep yourself busy with hobbies, sports, media, social contacts, etc.? What would happen if you stopped doing this?
Exercise 2: Make a list of the five people you spend the most time with. Analyze their behavior. What programs do they follow? What behavior do you have in common?
Exercise 3: What is it like for you to be alone? How long can you be alone? What do you do to escape being alone?
I didn't immediately plunge into social isolation. That was only after three years and after my body had urged me to do so. In the first year, when I was still pursuing my career and relationships, I took a four-week break once. In the second year, I isolated myself for five weeks at a time, and in the third year, it was six weeks.
Exercise 4: Choose periods of social isolation: a few days, a week, or several weeks. If possible, spend this time away from home. A familiar environment can reinforce existing programs. Do not consume media; only communicate with people if you can’t avoid it, eg when shopping. Spend time in nature. Nature helps you to free yourself from your programs. Observe your behavior and thoughts as closely as possible. Look for patterns. Document your findings in a diary.
You can find more exercises in my book “Being Free - Get Out of the Box.”
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Further reading:
Article “Why the Question ‘What am I?’ is Important and Magical"
Book “Consciousness – Its Nature, Purpose, and How to Use It”
Article “How to Find Your Purpose in Life”
Article “How to Become Who You Truly Are in 7 Steps”
Book “Being Free - Get Out of the Box”
I really enjoyed reading this. It brought to mind the book The Body Speaks the Mind by Deb Shapiro. I refer to it often and it amazes me how accurate it is. This is the 2nd article I’ve come across today about social isolation. It’s obviously something I need to consider.
I support your effort to discover what you are. However, not all physical problems have a mental origin. I had insulin-dependent diabetes until a kidney and pancreas transplant 27 years ago. My mind did not cause that. What I have learned is that we all need other people. Even you need the folks in the grocery store and all those it took to get those items to the shelves. I’m completely comfortable alone, but I’d rather not be most of the time. I’m glad your method worked for you, but it’s not for everyone. Thanks.